It’s really annoying to have a medical condition that causes you to be in pain when you are upset. 

You can’t exactly say, “Hey, can you please stop being mad because it upsets my stomach?”

“Wait, what?  You’re stealing my purse?  You can’t do that, it’ll make my stomach hurt.”

“YOU CAN’T JUST PULL OUT IN FRONT OF ME, ASSHOLE - IT HURTS ME.”

I don’t mean the gas, pain, etc. that comes along with inflammation.  

I mean, can you feel inflammation?

I’ve been having a crazy flare up of symptoms lately, and shortly after that, this weird feeling started.  This weird feeling is not constant, but it is very, very frequent.  It happens more often when I am physically tired (which is also very, very frequent).  It seems like it helps to sit or lay down, but that doesn’t make it go away.  It also gets kind of hard to stand up / stand straight, but I’m not sure if that’s the weird feeling or the fatigue or a combination of the two.  It’s really hard to explain this feeling.

It’s kind of like my body doesn’t fit inside my body anymore.  There’s pressure inside my stomach (small intestine area - where my Crohn’s pain usually is), kind of like gas, but it isn’t gas.  I’ve never felt this before and I have no idea what it is.

I’ve asked this on several other sites already, and some people have said they can feel their inflammation - but it doesn’t seem like the way in which they feel it is the same as this feeling.  Which could mean nothing, because all of our bodies are doing their own things anyway.

Any ideas?

I just couldn’t get up.

Yesterday morning, I walked to work from the hotel because my car wasn’t there and it was only a few minutes away.  The walk was awful (the hotel was beside the mall, and I often walk to the mall on lunch, but physical activity is difficult for me during the mornings and evenings), but all was good for the rest of the day.  I get off work at five, and something came up so Jackie couldn’t pick me up then.  He suggested I go to the mall, feel free to blow my paycheck, and he would pick me up as soon as he could.  Sounds great, right?

It was great, until about half an hour in, when I started to get tired.  I made do for another hour, until every step felt like needles up my legs and I could barely hold myself up.  I made my way to a shoe store and spent another half an hour trying on shoes - because it is socially acceptable to sit down for that.

So, I ended up coming home after spending two hours in the mall and crying because I was so tired and in pain, and my stomach’s reaction to all that was to make me feel extremely nauseous as well.  

So this morning, I just couldn’t do it.  I’m supposed to be at work at eight (which rarely happens anyway, for this same reason).  I got there at one.  I hate that.

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chronicillnesscat:

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: TOP: Use humor and sarcasm to cope BOTTOM: Accused of faking for attention]

I am completely bored with the internet.  I am using my computer only in hopes that it will get warm and function as a heating pad.

Post some pretty pictures or ask me things, anyone?

chronicillnesscat:

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads: “Have embarrassing disease. Oh God don’t Google it.”]

They’re going to look at me and only see my symptoms now. 

Six months ago, this was exactly me.  Now, thanks to my embarrassing disease, I’m too tired to explain, so just google it.

I want to complain.

I feel awful. I apparently can’t eat fruit anymore. I barely made it up a flight of stairs. I need to find a new doctor. I don’t know how to go about doing so, because I don’t know of any good GI’s around here or people to ask. Nobody has called to set up a pill cam yet, so I guess my doctor isn’t taking this very seriously. I want to leave the bathroom. I don’t want to be at work today.

I can’t complain to my boyfriend because he woke up with horrible back pain and I don’t want to seem like I’m belittling that. I can’t complain to my friends because I don’t want this to be the only thing I ever talk about.

My stomach hurts, I feel nauseous, hot and cold at once, and I really don’t like this.

It would be nice to have a doctor who cares and wants to do something about these things.

Really nice.